Reality_in_Banff

Recently my 5 year relationship ended... wanna know what I did to help deal with it?  I got on a plane and went visiting some of the important ladies in my life.  I live in Alberta, so my first stop was three provinces over, Ontario to see my mom, grandma, sister and her month old daughter Danielle.  We bitched, bickered and laughed so much... like you do when you're tight and comfortable with people.  I paddled a canoe with my sister which hasn't happened in years, held her tiny beauty in my arms while she slept and enjoyed plenty of beers on the deck looking out at the kolidascope of fall colours showing thru on the trees.

Next I stopped by Nova Scotia where I fell in love all over again with a part of the country I had never taken the time to truly appreciate.  Small town NS is breathtaking... having lived in the rocky mountains for the past 5 years it felt good to walk on an ocean beach and feel the warmth that seems to fliter by quickly when you're surrounded by all that rock.  My summer seems to have been extended by this trip! 

Thru all of this I have taken long walks in the woods where I have cursed, screamed and allowed my anger out.  I have allowed myself to vent a little with the girls but really my time with them is too short to let a guy who has no idea what he lost ruin with rants about guys.  I've gone shopping without thinking if he'll like what I'm buying (admit it, we all do it to some extent), I'm breathing deeper, and have no expectations of someone arriving home at the end of the day.  The day is now all mine... again.  *deep soothing breath. 

Why did I allow myself to get so wrapped up in this other person and his needs while realizing he didn't appreciate it at all?  Why do we do it ladies?

Tomorrow I head back to AB, back to the space we share and I am proud to say that I will be spectacularily fine.  I am a-okay.  I have and am dealing with the loss of my lover, my confident and my best friend.  We'll find our connection again in this new us.  He is after all someone who's seen the darkest side of me and made me laugh when I thought it was impossible.  Things change... adjust.   

photos from this trip will follow.